mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
