I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
