omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
