i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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