That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
