Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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