all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize