I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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