pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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