You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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