Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
