also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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