she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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