I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
