how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
