There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
