dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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