Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
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