i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
