my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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