I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
