You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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