this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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