This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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