i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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