tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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