she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
