I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
