The best revenge is premature balding
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
