Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
