Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
