batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
