Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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