she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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