He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
