somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
