yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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