if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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