it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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