I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry about my life...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
