No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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