fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
