guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
