No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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