dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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