She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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