3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.