lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.