At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?