I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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