Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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