it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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