just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize