yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
