sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
