I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
