is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
