he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
