I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
