I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
