I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
