So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
