we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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