I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize