You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
