I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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