soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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