the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
