im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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